Sugar We're Going Down Swinging
by twilightstargazer
Summary: "Damn you," he said, echoing her sentiments from earlier as he pressed his lips to her forehead. "Damn you for making me love you."


**_In the last story that I posted I said that I would never intentionally hurt you guys and well... I lied. I wrote this solely because of the fact that I want to. I t should also be noted that this was a birthday gift for one of my friends (hi Ren) so beware if you ever happen into friendship with me. You shall not be spared from the tears._**

* * *

><p><strong><span>Sugar We're Going Down Swinging<span>**

* * *

><p>The messy haired baby lunged forward, intent on grabbing to thin, spindly stick that was stuck between the two cushions of the couch. Another hand quickly snatched it out of his reach though and Harry's chubby fists closed around nothing but air. The toddler turned his head and pouted at the man next to him, stretching his hands out for it.<p>

James grinned and twirled the wand between his fingers, well out of Harry's reach. "Oh no," he said, raising his hand a bit higher, "I'm not letting you get this again. The cat's still slightly pink from the last time you got it."

"Dada," said Harry, hands still outstretched, "Wa'."

He ruffled his hair affectionately, bringing even more disarray into the mix and further increasing the similarities between the two. "Not right now, little man," he said before giving the wand a slight flick. Immediately the small chest in the corner sprung open and several toys floated over to the pair. James shoved his wand into his back pocket and caught a stuffed snitch in midair as the others fell around them.

Harry shrieked in delight and clapped his hands together before picking up and stuffed Hippogriff and throwing it across the room. It landed directly in front of a redhead's feet. Lily chuckled slightly to herself as she bent down to retrieve it.

"Mama!" Harry said happily. He pointed his little hands towards the stuffed toy in her hands and proudly said, "Griff."

Lily dropped the Hippogriff to the couch and swooped up the baby from the floor. His ecstatic giggles filled the room and she placed a kiss on the crown of his head. "Yes my darling boy," she cooed, bobbing him on her hip, "It's a Hippogriff."

"Griff," Harry repeated once more, squirming in her hands to go back on the ground to play with his toys. Lily acquiesced and he immediately waddled over to the chest and grabbed a black dog that looked as though it had seen better days.

"Pafoo'," he announced. Harry shook the toy and James winced as an eye dropped off onto the carpet. From his side he heard Lily groan softly to herself.

"I'm never going to forgive Sirius for teaching him to say that before he said 'Mama'," she told him.

James looped an arm around his wife's waist and pressed a kiss to her temple. "And he's never going to stop reminding us of the fact that Harry said 'Padfoot' before anything else."

Lily leant against James shoulder. "Your best mate is a bit of git, you know," she pointed out, as she flicked her wand at the stuffed dog. He proceeded to run around the room, causing Harry to shriek excitedly and clap his hands.

"You've been telling me that at least once a week for the past ten years, love," he chortled, watching as the cat hissed when the animated toy came too close to him. "I think the point has been made."

"Mhmm," she said, yawning sleepily, "And somehow I still invite the mangy mutt into my house every Sunday for dinner."

"You love him," James said simply.

Lily snorted. "Don't let my husband hear that; he's a bit of the jealous sort," she replied, cuddling against him.

James laughed lowly, lightly stroking her hair. "Tired?" he asked her softly.

"It's hard work watching after two toddlers whole day," she teased, poking his stomach.

James batted her hands away. "Oh ha bloody ha," he groused, "You're so funny." Even as he said that, he couldn't help the small twitch of his lips. He pressed a kiss to the exposed skin of her neck. "Come on, love; you put Harry to bed and I'll make us some tea."

She cracked an eye open and mocking glared at him. "Oh yeah, give me the hard job."

"It's not that hard," he said, "Look at him! The little tyke is falling asleep on himself."

True to his word, Harry was sat on the rug, struggling to keep his eyes open. His hands stubbornly rubbed at his eyes and he yawned widely. Lily smiled softly at him walked over to where he was, easily picking him up off the ground. "Come on sweetheart," she said softly, rubbing their noses together, "Let's put you to bed."

Harry made a slight sound of protest but nonetheless stuck his thumb in his mouth and snuggled closer into Lily's arms. James walked over and dropped a kiss to the crown of his head. "Night, little man," he said affectionately. He watched as the two of them ascended the staircase before making his way into the kitchen.

James lazily flicked his wand and two teacups came floating out of the cupboard. He grabbed the kettle from atop the stove and filled it halfway with water before tapping it with his wand. While he waited for it to boil, he rifled through the cupboard and dug out two teabags and plonked them into the cups before searching for the milk and sugar. The milk was in the cupboard where it always was but for some strange reason the jar with the sugar was missing. He frowned and kept on looking, but it was nowhere to be found. The ear splitting shriek of the kettle cracked through the silence of the kitchen but he still hadn't found the sugar. He quickly took the kettle off and poured the water into the cups before heading upstairs.

The door to the nursery was open and James slowly snuck his head in to check if Harry was still awake. He had quickly learnt that once the toddler saw him when he was on the brink of sleep he would immediately become reenergised. Luckily, Harry's head was lolling on Lily's shoulder with his mouth partially agape. Lily quietly flicked her wand at the cot and tucked him in, pressing a tender kiss to his forehead.

"It's hard to believe that something so small and cute could cause so much destruction to the house," he mused aloud, leaning against the doorframe.

"I suspect he gets that from you," Lily said, glancing over her shoulder as she fixed the blankets around Harry.

James pushed himself off the doorframe and slowly walked into the nursery, wrapping his arms around Lily from behind. "Are you calling me cute, Lily Evans?"

"Yes," she said unabashedly, leaning backwards into his embrace. "And it's Lily Potter to you now."

He buried his face into her hair and inhaled the flowery fragrance. "I know, I just like to hear you say it," he confessed, before peppering her neck with small kisses. "Back to the topic now, I'm only just cute? Not devilishly handsome, undeniably sexy or totally shaggable?"

"There's a baby right here you know," she pointed out wryly.

"A baby who's fast asleep," he countered easily, sucking lightly on her neck. She gasped lowly and tightened her grip on the cot's wooden bars.

"I thought… you were… making tea," she breathed. Her eyes closed of their own accord and she tilted her head back, allowing him easier access to the silky white skin of her throat.

His hands skirted down her sides to clutch at her hips. "I was, but apparently we're out of sugar. Lucking I found something much sweeter." He playfully nipped at her for good measure.

A slight groan escaped her but it was one more of frustration than of pleasure. "I forgot about that," she sighed, turning around so that it was much easier to push James away. At his confused (and slightly put out expression), she further explained, "Harry thought it would be funny to crash into it this morning with his broomstick. The jar broke and sugar went everywhere."

"Where was I during all of this?"

"In the shower, or perhaps trying to make your hair look even more ridiculous."

He pinched her arm painlessly. "You're hysterical," he deadpanned.

"It's all part of my charm," she replied.

James shook his head, smiling affectionately down at her. "And you called me conceited for a good part of our lives."

Lily shrugged. "Well to be fair, you were."

"You think you're funny don't you?"

"Oh darling," she tapped his nose lightly, "I know I'm funny."

He caught her hand and linked their fingers together. "You are many things, my love, but funny is not one of them. Brilliant, amazing, totally shaggable, yes," he kissed each of her fingers as her listed the various traits, "But funny, no."

She batted his face away with her free hand. "Go away, Potter."

"Only if you come with me. In case you've forgotten, when you agreed to marry me it meant that you're stuck with me for life, dear," he pointed out gleefully.

"Damn, I should have listened to Remus when he told me to run for the hills," she hissed, although the goofy smile that spread across her face stated otherwise.

He kissed the corner of her mouth, easily catching her smile so that it reflected upon his face. "Remus is a tosser," he declared as he let go of her hand. "Now if you excuse me, it seems as though I have a late night sugar run to dash off to."

The light atmosphere immediately darkened at his words. Lily worried her lip between her teeth before saying, "James, you don't have to go right now. In fact, you don't have to go at all. We can just ask Sirius to pick some up for us and bring it over tomorrow."

"And pray tell, how are we going to get Harry to eat his cereal in the morning without it having been sweetened?" he raised a challenging eyebrow. He smiled reassuringly at her, placing both hands on her shoulder. "Don't worry, love," he said soothingly, "Dumbledore returned the cloak to me yesterday while you were sleeping. I'll be back before you know it."

"You better," she said firmly. "As barmy as it is, I won't know what to do with myself if something were to happen to you."

James pressed a tender kiss to her forehead and Lily leant into his embrace, breathing in the scent that she had come to know as home for the past two years. "I'm in the same predicament as you," he told her, "It's the price of being in love."

"Damn you for making me love you then," she muttered.

He laughed silently so as to not wake Harry. "I'll be back in a few minutes," he said once more, letting his hands drift to her lower back, "And then," his eyes darkened slightly, causing something to squirm in Lily's stomach, "We can settle once and for all if 'cute' is truly the correct word to describe me." He lightly squeezed her arse through the thick denim of her jeans and emitted a squeak from her.

A quick kiss was dropped to her lips before he disentangled himself from her. "S'later, Lils," he said, easily slipping through the doorway and hurrying down the stairway. Lily followed, though at am much more reasonable pace.

"Put on a coat!" she called out from the landing. "It's unseasonably cold for October."

"Yes mum," he threw over his shoulder with a wink. Within the next second, he was gone, having pulled the Invisibility cloak over himself.

James apparated to the next town over, appearing in the alley between two shops. There was a little shop across the road that he knew would be open at this hour and, with a quick glance at his surroundings, he hurried over. It took him near twenty minutes to dart in and out of the establishment as the shopkeeper was just about to close up and was more than a little put out when James showed up, and when he exited, he had a small plastic bag hooked around crook of his elbow. He walked back over to the alley to disapparate when a softly glimmering patronus of a dog came bounding towards him.

Sirius' message caused the small smile to slide off his face and the sickening feeling of dread to coil in his stomach, making the bile rise up to his throat. He disapparated on the spot, not having his wits about him to focus properly but also not caring if he splinched himself in half. The only thing that was going through his mind at the moment was 'god no please let this be some sort of twisted joke, Merlin that couldn't be true.'

He appeared two houses down from his own but even from there he could see the smoke spiralling against velvet backdrop of the night sky. His legs felt as though all the bones had been vanished and he stumbled over to what were now the ruins of the house. Dumbledore was already at the scene, as well as Sirius but James paid them no heed. Instead his legs gave out and he fell to his knees with an animalistic cry ripping free of his throat.

Everything was demolished. What was once a beautiful cottage with ivy climbing up the front wall was nothing more than a pile of smouldering rubble cracked and crumbling much like James' heart at the moment.

"Prongs," Sirius began, his voice scratchy and raw and eyes rimmed red. "You're-"

"Where's Lily?" he cut him off. "Where is she, Padfoot?"

Sirius winced and hesitantly stuck out a hand to grasp his shoulder. "Mate," he said as gently as possible, "She's-"

"No," he said abruptly. "She's not- she can't be- you're lying!"

Dumbledore wandered over, his blues solemn behind his half moon spectacles. "James-"

But James couldn't hear him. He stumbled to his feet and pushed Sirius' hands off him. Lily- his Lily- she couldn't be… bloody hell he couldn't even think the word. He staggered drunkenly in throughout the rubble, tripping over part of the banister that was blasted off until his heart shattered.

He wasn't even aware of the tears that had gathered in his eyes until they begun to roll down his cheeks. She looks so peaceful amidst the chaotic debris around her. Her red hair was fanned out behind her head and her skin was so pale it almost looked translucent. However, the blank, glassy look in her eyes as she stared into nothingness unnerved him to no end.

James slowly dropped to his knees, unable to tear his eyes away from her. His hand reached out to clutch at hers, to interlink their fingers together like he had done a mere half hour ago. Her skin had not yet cooled completely and still possessed a touch of warmth, a sign that pointed towards the life that once dwelled within her. More tears began to drip from his eyes, trickling down his cheeks and falling into Lily's hair as he pulled her onto his lap, gently cradling her face. He closed her eyes shut, unable to look at her flat stare any longer, though still clutching her like lifeline.

He sat there holding her until there were no more tears to shed, until whatever little warmth she had disappeared, repeating to himself over and over that he should have been there to save her, to give her and Harry a fighting chance. Someone shuffled closer to his side and he lifted his head, neck sore from having been bent for so long. Sirius stood there, his face pallid and tear streaked as he held Harry against his shoulder. James' eyes widened and for the first time in probably hours, he released his hold on Lily to take his son from Sirius.

Harry was still fast asleep, much like when he left them (the words left a bitter taste on his tongue and caused whatever was left of his heart to twinge painfully.) He didn't even begin to stir. There was a bloodied mark on his forehead but James was so happy to find his son alive that he thought nothing of it.

"How?" he croaked out, looking over at Sirius for some sort of answers.

"Old Batty heard an explosion and alerted Dumbledore. I was with him at the time. The two of us showed up here and found things like this," Sirius explained. "I thought- I thought you were gone too, mate."

James shook his head impatiently. "No, I mean how is he still alive?" he asked, clutching baby Harry to his chest tighter than ever before. "Why didn't Voldemort kill him on the spot? What happened to Voldemort?"

"Very interesting questions, Mr. Potter," said Dumbledore, joining the two men. "Questions that I do not yet have the answers to but will try to procure as soon as possible. I do have a theory however and it is that Mrs. Potter here saved him."

Another painful twinge and another shuddering gasp of air when he called her 'Mrs. Potter.' James felt lost and lonely, as though someone ripped him in two, taking all the happiness and leaving only angst and sorrow in its place. Still though, he couldn't help but gaze fondly down at Lily, who still lay in his lap, still and unmoving. His Lily who tried everything to save their son and succeeded though not without a hefty price. The tears were prickling against his eyeballs once more and he made no move to stop them from falling. His shoulders slumped over and he cradled Harry in one hand while the other shakily pushed the hair away from her face.

"Damn you," he said, echoing her sentiments from earlier as he pressed his lips to her forehead. His shoulders trembled and his voice broke, piercing the sides of his throat like shards of glass. "Damn you for making me love you."

* * *

><p><strong><em>Happy Halloween :)<em>**


End file.
